Skinning Your Knees

When was the last time you skinned your knee?

Yesterday, I fell hard. I fell so hard I am still hurting today. I've fallen before, and it hurt. This time hurt a lot, too. I could hardly find a moment of peace, and this morning, I am hardly hungry. Is that normal?

What if I told you I didn't really skin my knee? What if I told you I skinned my heart, instead?

Yep.

I really messed up. I yelled and cried, and I yelled more and cried more. It was exhausting. I really wanted to just go up to my room, hide in the back of the closet, and stay there for a few days, until everyone could forget what I did. And I'd be hoping and praying that I would come out, maybe Thursday or Friday, and everything would be okay, because that would be really nice.

All we wanted to do was go to lunch. My mom wanted to take us to lunch, and I was growing impatient, on top of already being super hungry. I called everyone to come down so we could go, but alas, it was not to be. I got a call that lasted five minutes, and when I got back downstairs, everyone was waiting on me, and now, I was the one that kept everyone waiting.

There were meltdowns and frustration, and not by me. I was trying to stay calm, but all of the negative energy just fell on me like a piano from the 50th floor. I lost my cool.

Man, I was horrible, and I ended up crying until my throat was killing me, and I no longer had the desire to use my voice. It felt terrible.

I've been so anxious lately, and I've had moments of joy as I read or watched uplifting messages and scriptures. But overall, I have felt "dead" inside at certain times. I hate feeling this way. It feels like I'm wandering the Earth with no feeling or care in the world. It's a terrible way to live. You feel as though you don't care what happens, because you feel that you don't care about anything. And you want to care about some things, like your family and yourself. I did care about them (still do), but I didn't want to care about the emotions, because those were too hard.

Later, when I got home, I turned on my diffuser. I put in some Frankincense and Grapefruit, and I inhaled its sweet, earthy aroma. My mind was taken away to a serene place, where I was so at peace. I loved it! I read before I finally fell asleep, peacefully.

This morning, I feel calm. As I said, I'm not really hungry, but that's because I'm still trying to relish in the calm I feel. Yes, the kids are home, and they are up and loud as ever. One of them got upset about something, and I covered my ears until I was at peace again, and then, calmly asked them to refrain from complaining about it. Thankfully, they listened. Truly, I am grateful for them doing that. Now, I am listening to one of them sing Christmas Carols as another works on school work. It's wonderful! And I'm going to relish in this blissful, peaceful moment; so, I need to go enjoy it...fully!

My "knee" is feeling better already!

What do you do to keep peace in your life and home? I'd love to read your tips, thoughts, and experiences! Share below!